someone i barely knew died over the weekend and i found out while i was at a boys house. he and i both had poetry class with the person as well as both knowing their significant other. i realized i am never going to see this person right before my literary criticism class ever again and existence is really fragile and death is terrifying. the boy asked me if i needed a hug and i refused him. i slept in his bed without touching him because death was everywhere and i couldn’t shake it until morning and the boy held me and i told him the light in his room was good. i kissed him for the first time then i left. i am terrified of leaving again and i am having a hard time accepting things.